Sara and I decided to discuss what we could do to improve our home environment. Now that Eddie is 14, Julie is 11, and Raymond is 8, they are more subject to the cultural influences around us than ever before. We agreed that the environment is a lot worse today than it was when we were kids.
We realized that there's really no way we can always monitor what they see and hear when they're out of the house, but our home should be a place where modesty is the norm and the richness of our Jewish life is dominant.
We called a family meeting to talk about it. The kids were less than thrilled when they found out the topic I wanted to discuss. Eddie drummed his fingers on the table, Julie rolled her eyes and Raymond just sat there open-mouthed. I started by asking them what's Jewish about our home - if a stranger walked in, how could he tell it's a place where observant Jews live? They looked around and started pointing out mezuzot, our Chanukah menorah, Sara's Shabbat candlesticks, the Jewish books and siddurim.
"Now, what's not Jewish about our home?" They were stuck. "Um, some of our CD's?" ventured Eddie. "Maybe the movie star posters in my room?" suggested Julie.
The conversation wasn't easy, but we discussed why these influences don't belong in our lives, and I confessed that I had been careless to let them in. When I suggested that we all take a break from watching TV for a while, Raymond whined, "We'll die!"
"You don't mean completely, do you, Dad?" questioned Eddie.
"Yes, completely."
"Even your evening news, Dad?" he said craftily. I nodded yes, even the news. The kids looked from one to the other.
"That's so mean," muttered Julie under her breath. "I can't believe we're doing this."
I didn't blink. Sara smiled. "It won't be easy for any of us, but I think that as a family we can kick the TV habit together. Let's try!"
We knew they would have a lot of extra time on their hands, so the next day, we went shopping together. We helped Eddie buy the telescope he'd been saving up for; we got paint supplies for Julie so she could take art lessons; and we let Raymond pick a hobby. Now he has everything he needs to start a rock and mineral collection.
These e-mails are excerpts taken from the book "Windows of the Soul" by Rabbi Zvi Miller of the Salant Foundation.