I have to admit that I was a little confused. I was invited to Sheva Brachot at the Cohen's house tonight, and I wasn't sure of "Torah etiquette." Should I thank the hostess or is it better not to look at her or say anything?
So I called my number one authority, Dave. "I've been invited too," he answered. "Meet me at 7:30 in front of the Cohens' house."
When we met, Dave told me it's all a question of balance. After all, the Torah wants you to be a "mensch." "Just follow me," he instructed, "and do what I do."
We went inside. Mrs. Cohen was at the door and Dave cordially greeted her. I thanked her for inviting me and followed him to the table. It was a great Sheva Brachot. The food was magnificent, the speeches were short, and the newlyweds looked really happy.
When the kallah's friends came in, Dave gave me a little under-the-table kick and pointedly looked down at his plate. He didn't have to: I was already studying the silverware.
When it was over, Dave and I thanked Mrs. Cohen for the terrific meal she had served. She really glowed. Putting together a Sheva Brachot like that takes a lot of hard work, and I think she was glad that we appreciated it.
These e-mails are excerpts taken from the book "Windows of the Soul" by Rabbi Zvi Miller of the Salant Foundation.