The Library

If we find that we keep falling into inappropriate behaviors that go against our conscience and better judgment, and we have tried countless times to stop in the past but always seem to fall back to them in the end, then we are probably struggling with an addiction.

The first key to recovery is “acceptance.” We need to accept that we have a problem and that we need help. Otherwise, we will read through the Guard Your Eyes website and Handbook and say: “they aren’t talking about me.”

Some people think that if they are unmarried and have no outlet, they cannot possibly remain clean indefinitely. This is patently false.  Some people today are under the misconception that these behaviors are healthy or even necessary for the body. This is completely untrue.

Often a person is not truly ready to admit they have a problem, seek help and be willing to make real changes in their lives unless they have “hit bottom” first.  One of the goals of the GYE community is to help people “Hit bottom while still on top.

We must recognize how insidious the addiction is, how it continues to tell us lies, getting us to act out again and again. Each time we act out, we make it harder to heal from the addiction in the long term.

Take the struggle only “one day at a time.” Try never to focus on the future or wonder how we will manage. We must learn to live in the present only, focusing on staying "clean" or "sober" right NOW.

Ultimately, only Hashem can overcome the addiction for us. As Chazal say: “If Hashem doesn’t help him, he cannot overcome him” (the Yetzer Hara).

The addiction is often a sign that we are missing some of the most basic principles of what it means to be a human being, created in the image of Hashem.

Although all truths can be found in the Torah, we had lost our vision. Even though we may have been learning Torah and Mussar, we were wearing “broken eye glasses.” And so, before we can turn once again to the Torah for guidance, we need to first learn what it means to be a human being.

This area has been taboo in the religious community for far too long. The very fabric of our society is at stake.  The instant availability and anonymity that the Internet provides makes this perhaps the biggest test of our generation.